My Heart is Broken

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:10

I make it a point to never see the news. I don’t read it online. I don’t watch it on TV. I am blissfully ignorant to the world around me. Until I am reminded; in an overwhelming, all-consuming way, that I can’t protect myself from this fallen world that we live in. No more than I can protect my children from it.

There are things that happen that get added to the scrapbook of your life. A snapshot in time. A before and an after. Today is one of those days.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

When I saw the vague “prayers for Connecticut” statuses begin to pop up on Facebook, I was able to piece together the story. I didn’t know how bad it was. I didn’t know the specifics. And I didn’t need to. I thought, I can just say a prayer and log off of Facebook for the day.

Until I saw the ages.

And I could no longer distance myself from the tragedy. Instead I shut my laptop, walked out of my office, and drove home to get my babies. I called my Mom on the way. I hesitated for a second before pushing the “call” button. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to have that conversation. How do you have that conversation?

My heart is so broken.

I heard the words of our President, experiencing this as a parent, just as I was. I saw the woman down the street from me lower her flag to half-staff.

I picked up my daughter from school today.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27

At the end of the day, I have to accept that bad things happen. Bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to innocent children, bad things happen to bad people. And there’s not a single thing I can do to stop it, except turn to the Lord. I pray for peace. I pray for salvation. I pray for hope.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

So tonight, I am helpless, but I am not hopeless.

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2

If you are looking for ways to help in the wake of this tragedy, consider giving to the Newton Youth and Family Services.

 

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5 Responses to My Heart is Broken

  1. Sofie says:

    What has happened in Connecticut is so horrific that it is difficult for me to comprehend. I can’t fathom how something like this could happen. It’s so indescribably tragic and meaningless, and it only strengthens my already strong belief about gun control and its necessity.
    Sofie recently posted…Heavy Study Sessions About To Commence (in Case My Teacher is Reading)

  2. ((Hugs)) This is a beautiful post!
    Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust recently posted…Cookies and Crafts for Sandy Hook {#BloggersforSandyHook}

  3. Shelley says:

    Well said sweetie. I feel the same way… I am glad you got to go home to your babies. I also try not to follow the news and I had spent the day away from my laptop and when I got home I was shocked to see what was on Facebook. I am very glad I had my babies home at that point. God definitely is there for us and I hope this nation looks toward him for guidance and healing.

    Hugs,

    Shelley
    Shelley recently posted…Snowman In A Bag Treat Mix

  4. Pingback: Triple Chocolate Mint Pudding Cookies & Tribute to Sandy Hook #bloggersforsandyhook - Sweet Bella Roos

  5. Casicline says:

    Amazingly said………….

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